OneTrack Mind
by dress without sleeves
Summary: You asked me recently why I still bother. Why I bother to get up in the morning and go about my daily routine; to smile and laugh and pretend that no evil will ever come again. Because, Link. I can't give you another answer.


I guess it was only a matter of time until it got to you. Until you finally realized how empty life really is. Funny, though. I'd always thought you stronger than all of that; I thought you might be able to resist. A false hope, maybe, and a foolish one. But without hope...

Oh, don't get me wrong, hope is bullshit, I know. And yet...there is a reason for hope, isn't there? There's a reason for everything else. And I think, finally...after watching you go through what you went through and surviving it; there it was. This little orb of glowing hope that slept inside me as you threw yourself selflessly into battle.

I've always wanted to ask: why? Why did you accept it all, take it as Destiny and move on? I can't help but wonder: did you're life matter so little...or did hers matter so much? Ah, I see you wincing in the dim candlelight, as though you can read my thoughts. Sometimes, I wonder if you can't. But I don't really mind. It's not like you don't know, anyway. About my wondering.

So it was her, then? That...all you went through...was for her? Not me, not the sages, not your friends...just her. Imagine that. I didn't know love was that strong. I didn't know that it made people so selfless. Hell, I didn't even know that you were capable of love anymore. But I think...I think you are. You'll hate me for saying it, I know, but I see it. Every time you are with her, and the hint of the sparkle returns to your eyes.

Look, Link...

It's not your fault. I know you hear it every day and won't believe a word...but it's not. If you fought like that, fought so desperately for her – if she didn't accept it for what it was, there is _nothing you can do._ She promised you forever—she couldn't fulfill that promise. I'm sorry. Don't you _get_ that? It's not the end of the world, the sun will rise again...

I guess that's what gets you. I never really noticed before. How you've stopped watching it's slow cycle—watching the bright world blinking in light and then blocking out darkness. I never would have thought...you. The strongest man in the world, hurt so amazingly deep as to lose all faith. In everything.

Have you lost faith in me? Don't. Don't lose faith in me, I mean. I'm no Zelda—I'll never be, I know. Look, I'm not asking you to love me, okay? I'm not asking you to get over her and forget everything she put you through. I wouldn't do that—because you can't. No one ever could.

But it kills me, Link. Seeing you like this. I thought that you might make it through. Make it through with all the hurts and all the scars, and maybe, just maybe, you'd find peace. Happiness. Something other than what you _have_ found—bitterness. This horrid pit of despair that twists your smiles into frowns and dulls the light in your eyes.

I guess you think you're too far gone to look back. To see what I see all around me—to see past the fact that yes, people are idiots, and yes, there will always be another evil to fight, that all of this is just a resting period, a time for us to nurse our wounds.

You don't get it, do you?

This...resting period...this _is_ what we fight for. Can you understand that? Every time we gear ourselves up and brace for the worst—we're not fighting for endless peace. We're fighting for a short period of happiness before everything flares up again.

And you know? Somehow, it seems enough to pull me through. I can understand that it's different for you. That you go through more, each time, than the lot of us put together. But you don't fool me, with your scowl and refusal at cheeriness, your blatant rejection of my friendship. You're not all _that_ far along.

You'll be saved yet. Otherwise you would never steel yourself for battle, never run out into the pouring rain to protect a crying little girl from an evil minion with his sword raised high. You wouldn't let Impa and Nabooru talk you into going on stupid little quests for Saria, gathering flowers and giving messages to the Kokiri.

I'll go so far as to say you enjoy it. You've got most of them fooled—but not me. I think you know it, too, and it annoys the hell out of you. Why won't I just give up? Leave you to wallow in despair?

You know damn well why. Would you have left Zelda?

You asked me recently...why do I still bother? To get up in the morning, go about my daily routine? Why do I bother to smile and laugh and pretend that everything is great, that no evil will ever come again...I think you wanted to ask, but couldn't, 'Why do you bother to keep fighting for people who don't deserve it—don't appreciate it?'

_Because,_ Link. I can't give you a better reason. Because this is me and they are who they are and I love them anyway. Love every last villager who shouts in the market for Godfrey to get the _hell_ out of the fountain, every last mother who screams for _someone_ to get rid of the '_bloody dogs_' in the middle of the roadway, every shrieking kid playing tag with their little buddies.

I love them, Link. And I think you do, too. Even though they don't deserve it. Don't appreciate it for what it is...take it for granted. And for what it's worth, they love us back. Unintentionally, unwittingly...perhaps even grudgingly. They love us because they know that we love them and we're willing to go out there and die for them whenever the need arises.

I know you can't ever fully love them, or me, or anyone, ever again. I've accepted you're affection for what it is—for what you'll allow it to be. Because Goddesses _damn_it, Link, I'm not giving up on you.

You know what I think?

I think that you _want_ this misery. I think you go looking for it. Because it's the only thing strong enough for you. The only thing that makes you _feel_, makes you tingle with emotion. Love just isn't enough anymore.

I guess I feel sorry for you. But misery doesn't suit me. It takes too much energy and effort, and I quite _frankly_ think you're wasting your time.

I'm sorry, Link. I didn't mean to let you in so easily. To let you read my facial expressions like that. I hate the way you wince and turn away, trying to act like you don't care. Bullshit. You care. We both know you care so much that you'll act like you don't.

Why are you doing this to yourself? Look at me. Do you see these eyes? Can you read what's in them?

I'm not giving up on you, Link. I just hope you haven't given up on yourself.


End file.
